Happy Anniversary Howie!

Nine years ago today I became Mrs. Howard S. Harmon. It was an absolutely gorgeous September day with warm temperatures and bright blue skies. It was a day I had been dreaming about long before I met Howie and it was turning into the dream I had wanted and had prayed for. We had met the year before and our first date was on my grandparents anniversary. I knew it was going to be special just for that reason. It was quite an interesting first date. It was a blind date and 2 other couples went with us on our first date. Makes for interesting conversation with 8 more ears listening in :)

We had dinner at the Parakeet ( which is no longer open ) and went bowling. We became officially engaged on St. Patrick's Day 1999 in Louisville at a friends party. Talk about shocked! I knew he had the ring but just didn't know when he was going to give it to me. We had known since November that we were going to get married but we just kept that a secret for awhile. We went through some difficult times in January 1999 when my grandfather passed away and. How I wished that he and my grandmother could have been there with us on our wedding day. Howie is a complete gentleman and he went to dad and asked for my hand in marriage.

It's been an amazing 9 years. Full of excitement, love, disappointment and some heartbreak. We started off living in this sweet little home in Scottsville. It was quaint and perfect for us and our 3 dogs, Maggie, Jack and Greta. Oct 2000 we moved into my grandparents home in Scottsville. Oh yeah, did I mention that he had his gall bladder removed on our 1st anniversary!!

Living in my grandparents was a wonderful experience. We brought home Emma to that house so it made it even more special for us. It was an older home and with all older homes comes problems and we had our small share of them but it was still our home from Oct 2000 - Feb 2006. In Feb 2006 we took the plunge and moved to Bowling Green to our new home.

Howie is the most incredible husband and God truly blessed me when he brought him into my life. He is patient. He is quite funny. He is strong. He protects me. He loves me. He his a child of God. That is the most important quality I could have ever asked for. Attending church has never been a question in our marriage and God has truly been there for us so many times. Having to deal with infertility could have really broken our marriage down but all it has done has made us stronger. We have cried tears of joy and happiness over the birth of Emma and we have cried tears of sadness and disappointment over our failed cycles and our loss last year.

Through it all Howie has been right there with me supporting me and loving me and telling me it's all going to be ok ( and kicking me in the butt when I needed it ). I wouldn't trade him for any other man out there. He is my best friend. The one I can't wait to tell what happened on Grey's Anatomy ( like he cares ) the one I cheer with on Saturday afternoon while watching college football.

So, this post is for my sweetie. I love you so much and thank you for saying yes to that blind date 10 years ago. Thank you for asking me to be your wife... I love you!!

Lisa

Time to Catch Up

Wow, it has been such a long time since I have posted anything so I thought I would just do a little catch up. Life is certainly busy like it is for all of you I'm sure. Emma started a new preschool this year and she loves it. She is going 5 days from 8 - 12 and is doing great. Our morning routine has been so easy which makes things start off really easy around here. She is not a morning kid at all but she asked Santa for an alarm clock last year and Santa didn't forget it. She wakes up every morning to her music and gets dressed and comes downstairs usually by 7:00! We are also carpooling with another neighbor so we have to be ready for either them to pick her up or for me to get the girls to school.

She misses her old friends and teachers from Broadway but she has made some new little friends ( as well as a new boyfriend ) and she absolutely loves her new teacher!! They have already had several field trips ( which mommy hasn't missed a one yet ). They have gone to Hopscotch to see the clowns before the circus, the fire department and to Chaney's. She is also doing ballet again along with soccer. We only have 2 more soccer games this season. Emma loves whatever activity she is doing at the time and her little team has done such a great job this year. All of the girls will be at Briarwood next year for Kindergarten which is neat.

Howie has been doing good. He's been dealing with a back issue since the first of Aug. Just waiting for another dr's appt at the end of Oct to hopefully help with the pain. He hasn't been traveling as much so that is nice. Work is going well so that is always a blessing.

I have started back to my Bible Study on Wed morning and that is going great. Cindy is our teacher and what a blessing that is. She is such an amazing lady. We are so blessed to have her at Living Hope. I am doing good. I have my moments but I know that is just how it will be for awhile. Emma has a fascination with pregnant women and babies right now. She has always loved babies ( pretend or real ) and whenever we are out in public and there is a baby she is right up on them. It's precious to see but at the same time it's ripping my heart out. I need to go through all of the baby clothes I have hung onto but I'm just not ready to. The thought of opening up those tubs of newborn clothes just makes my heart heavy. They are just taking up space so I am in no rush to get to them.

I hope all of you are doing fantastic and are getting excited about the Fall season!! It's my favorite time of the year and I can't help to think back to being pregnant with Emma 5 years ago and enjoying every day of feeling her kick and planning our future as a family of 3 together. It's a time of bittersweet reflection but I know how truly blessed we are and wouldn't trade it for anything.

Love and blessings~
Lisa

New adventures

We have been on overdrive lately with summer coming to an end and no more sleeping late and Emma beginning a new preschool. All changes and for the good but still nevertheless changes and time to adjust. She started her new preschool on Aug 5. She is now going 5 days a week from 8 - 12. A lot of moms would be celebrating to have those 4 hours all to themselves and as excited as I was for by big girl to be heading off on a new adventure my heart was being torn. I have had my sweet girl all to myself for 4 1/2 years. Yes, she has been in preschool / mother's day out since August 2005 but that was just for 2 days a week.

When we signed her up in April I just knew I would be pregnant with our second child in August and I would be preparing our home for our newest family member. That void was all to present as we were preparing for her big day. Thankfully in a crazy kind of way I had my Chez Ami parties ready to begin that week so not much time during the day to dwell on what wasn't but the next task at hand.

Emma had 2 rough mornings at drop off but by the time I picked her up she was having so much fun and she loves her new teacher. She wants to stay at school now and not come home with me! I am thankful that she is having so much fun and she is learning and growing and most importantly she is healthy. Thank you God!!

She has also started her 2nd season of soccer. Last year we were having meltdowns because her friends were kicking the ball away from her. Now she in on a mission to get that ball in the goal! She is amazing me and her daddy every Saturday on the field. Don't know if we will have the next Mia Hamm but she loves it and can't wait to put her jersey on. The girls named their team the Ponies :)

She and I did have one special treat that I hope to turn into a tradition every year the day before school starts. Emma was treated to her first pedicure and manicure. Let's see how old was I when I had my first mani / pedi???.... She loved the attention and the nail tech was so good with her.

So life is back into a new routine and we are doing really well with it. Another adventure that Howie and I have taken on is teaching 3rd grade boys at Sunday School. 8 year old boys are nothing like 4 year old little girls. So far so good but then again it's only been 3 weeks!!

I hope and pray all of you are doing well and are into your new school year routine.

Blessings and love~
Lisa

Birthday wishes

I have sat and written and re-written this post in my head since Saturday night. I had debated about even posting these thoughts but here I am writing for some reason. Saturday night I was in Nashville eating at one of my favorite places with Howie, Emma and one of my best friends from high school. My birthday is today, so Andrea and I met and had an hour of spa treatment and then off to dinner. They brought out a dessert with a candle. Oh the traditional candle to make a wish with. Up until now I probably have wished every year since 2001 for a healthy and happy baby. This year I sat there not really knowing what to wish for.

When I was at the spa filling out my paperwork it asked if you were trying to get pregnant so they would know I guess what kind of treatment to avoid. For the first time since 2001 I haven't checked a box indicating that I wasn't trying to get pregnant. It was an odd moment that I hadn't expected to be dealing with. Are we trying or not trying. This is the next set of emotions or changes that I am having to deal with and that I am praying about. What do I pray about? What birthday wish do I make when I blow out the candle?

This is the time I have to completely let go and just know that God is in control and His plan for us will be carried out in His time. I have no idea if there will be another child for us. I have no idea when or if it may happen. For the first time since 2002 we have no plan. There have been plenty of times during the past 6 years we didn't have an active plan and whatever happened along the way would be fine. We have prayed and thanked God for another child and now I don't know if I keep praying for that or now is the time to stop praying for that one prayer request that has been on my heart all these years.

When we were married in 1999 I thought I had my life planned out like so many of us do when we get married. I was 28 and I had "planned" to have our first child when I was 30. Our second baby would come when I was 32 and our last kiddo would pop out when I would turn 35. Some plan that I thought was perfect. Little did I know that God would have something totally different in store for us. Now I am 37 and in my little plan I would have a 7 year old , a 5 year old and 2 year old by now. In God's plan and His perfect plan that it is, I have 1 precious and healthy 4 1/2 year old. A child that is truly a miracle.

What lies ahead of us is the unexpected but whatever it is God will reveal when His time is right for us. So tonight when we had dinner with my parents and Emma couldn't wait to blow out that last candle of my birthday no wish was made. Just a smile that I had my sweet girl to my left and my precious husband to my right and that I had another birthday to celebrate. That's enough to be thankful for.

Blessings and love~
Lisa

Has it really been almost 2 weeks?

I guess when news comes about that you don't want to hear about the time can seem to fly past at least for me it does. Life is back to normal around here which is good. So many of you have sent some very sweet e-mails and you all are so kind to keep asking how we are doing and you have no idea how much that means. Dealing with this situation has been easier than last year's and I am grateful for that. I am doing good and getting better each day.

I have to say though the part I wasn't expecting during all of this is coming from dreams. Almost every night since the 30th I have dreamt in some form or fashion that I am pregnant. I get all excited in my dream and start planning for our new family member and then I wake up and realize how so wrong that dream was. I really got mad last night and had a nice argument with the devil. I then prayed that God would either bless us with a real dream or let the dreams and this desire to please leave.

I know I have some emotions that I certainly don't want to have to deal with left and I know at some point I can't keep ignoring them and I will have to let them all out and cry about them and grieve for them and just keep pressing on. Please don't think that I am an emotional wreck because I certainly am not. I can say that I am happy. I have a peace and not an anger over what has happened. It is nice to know that I don't have to keep thinking about when we might cycle again. When I have to have my schedule laid out in front of me for doctor visit and shots. This part of this journey I certainly won't miss.

During my years of dealing with this crazy infertility journey I would post on one certain message board with other ladies going through this journey as well. I have not posted since our news and I have only read a few messages either. I miss that communication but I feel that I don't fit in anymore with them. It was fun to hear how they were doing and to encourage each other but I feel that road has come to an end and I need to find a new direction. Maybe one day when it's no so fresh I might poke my head back in.

On a fun note we helped raise money with hosting an Alex Lemonade Stand today in our neighborhood. We did this last year and we couldn't wait to do it again this year. What a perfect hot day it was to drink lemonade and I am so proud of our neighbors and the kids who helped this year. We raised $450 which I think is wonderful since we aren't on a busy road in town! All the kids this year helped and they had so much fun. They also understood a bit better what we were doing and who we were helping. Such a great lesson on helping others and working as a team!

I hope all of you are doing well and are enjoying the rest of your summer!

Blessings and love ~
Lisa

Thank you

Today is another day. I believe most of you may have heard the news by now but yesterday didn't go as we had hoped. Thankfully we received the phone call early in the morning so we didn't have to go all day sitting and wondering. Howie and I both are doing good. We knew after all of our past experiences that an IVF cycle has no guarantee with it's outcomes. We also knew that the outcome had already been decided by our Heavenly Father. It is disappointing that things ended like they did but we had already had a peace that whatever the outcome we were going to be fine and we would get through this.

I don't regret one second of trying one more time. Our experience was a good one and Cornell truly is an amazing place. I can't imagine going through this without having God on our side. Dealing with a negative outcome is such a disappointing loss but we have our peace and so many couples go through this without Him and all they have is bitterness and anger.

I am taking it one day at a time. Looking ahead is what gets me emotional, so no looking ahead and thinking what could have been. I know we may sound like a broken record but we give all the glory to God and His son for this experience. My faith is stronger today and will be stronger tomorrow. I know that God loves us and He truly has blessed us with a perfect and healthy daughter and that is so much more than some couples have.

We thank you each and love each one of you for your continued prayers and support. Nighttime has been rough patch. I wake up from sleep and my mind just races and I just have to stop and pray that God will stop my racing mind and let me fall back to sleep. Emma and I have a month before she heads back to preschool. She is going to a new school this year so pray for an easy transition for her ( and for mommy too ). This was a time I thought I would be preparing for a new baby to enter our home while she was away and now my days will be spent with other activities ( such as keeping this house in order! )

I may continue from time to time to right on the blog. It has been a good outlet of emotions from the past few weeks. I do have so much to be thankful for and I have learned not to take any of life's blessing for granted.

Love and blessings~
Lisa

The emotional toll

I don't even know if I will publish this post or not. I so hate the days of when the emotional heaviness comes weighing down on me. Nothing big has happened. I haven't taken one of the home pregnancy test. Nobody has said anything to make me upset. It's just another day and for some reason it has come with full emotion.

Emma is at a friends house so it's just me with my thoughts and the house is quite. I have been praying that God would take away these feelings and tears and bring peace. I am not feeling that this cycle hasn't worked even, so no negativity. Just heaviness of what we have been through yet once again. Three days away of knowing if our family will add more child to the Harmon Family. Three days away of knowing our dream has ended for the time being. I haven't had a good cry during this cycle so I guess I am allowed one good cry and today is it.

I am ready to accept whatever God has in store for us. I am ready to accept with open arms another child and I am ready to accept if this chapter is to end. I know without question that God will provide for us peace and comfort on Monday. He has been so good to us and He loves us and He cares so much for us.

So I have rambled on and it has helped to write out these feelings today. I already feel better and I know that God is it work bringing that peace to me.

Three more days....

Love and blessings ~
Lisa

Getting back to normal

It's Thursday and Monday seriously can't get here fast enough. I don't normally like to wish away days and time but right now I would love to wake up and have Monday morning right here waiting for us. I am doing good about being patient but some moments are tougher than others.

I am feeling good. I have those mystery symptoms that could be real or just my head playing tricks on me. I have been trying to keep Emma as active as possible with swimming and playing with her friends. Thankfully she hasn't been asking many questions which is good. She knows that I can't pick her up or swim right now.

So now we just keep going with our somewhat regular routine. I have been trying to keep it low key just until we know something. I will on in Monday to my doctor here in town and have blood work. They will fax the info to Cornell but I did ask for them to call me as soon as they here from the lab. Cornell is known for calling later in the day for anything and I would love to hear the news earlier so the wait will be over :)

Hope all of you have a wonderful weekend and thanks for still checking on us!!

Love and blessings ~
Lisa

We are back home!

How sweet it was to pull into our driveway this afternoon. We had an easy flight home and Howard, Brenda and Emma were waiting for us at the airport. Words can't describe how excited I was to see Emma!! I have missed her so much this last week but you couldn't tell that she had missed us for one second. I guess that's good :) She has had so much fun with her grandparents this week.

Howie is wiped out and I am about there too. I know we have said it a dozen times but we can't thank each of you enough for your prayers and notes while we were away. We definitely felt the presence of our precious Lord during all journey away from home.

We can't wait to see everybody back home!! Hope all of you are doing well and enjoying the summer months.

Love and blessings ~
Lisa

Dogs, Dogs and more Dogs

Big dogs. Little dogs. Ugly dogs. Cute dogs. Dogs are everywhere up here. This might seem like an odd topic but this has been one thing that I have thought quite unusual. I love dogs and I guess that is one reason that I have noticed all the dogs. Where we are staying is not a big touristy area but residential. So why shouldn't these people have dogs like all of us back home in Kentucky. I guess what is so unique is that some of these dogs are really big and they live in small quarters. Their owners are out walking them all the time and the doggies are doing their doggy business ( which there is no grass for potty time ~ just the sidewalk you walk on ).

I just can't see our Jack dog up here living in the big city. Dad noticed that these dogs don't bark at each other but I have to say I have heard them bark this week. The tiniest of the dogs will just start barking at the biggest dog passing him by. I know, not at all what you were expecting to read but I just had to write about the dogs.

We are almost home!! As much fun as we have had we are both ready to be back home in Bowling Green. Emma has had such a good time with her Ma Maw and Pa Paw and of course visiting Taylor, Lake, Aunt Mollie and Uncle Buck has been a big highlight for her. Thank you all so much for taking such good care of my sweet girl!!

Today has been a good day. Yesterday we walked down the block for breakfast and then the rest of the day was spent at the hotel. I just rested and prayed and concentrated on good thoughts of our embryo. Howie went out walking for part of the afternoon which was good. I wasn't much company laid up in the bed and there are so many neat areas close to our hotel. You can walk for blocks and it doesn't seem like you have gone that far but really you could have walked 30 blocks and it doesn't seem that far.

I have been reading and holding on to a passage in Psalms. Psalm 37:7 has a been my source of peace and hope while here in NYC. As I was resting in our room I was also resting in my Holy Father. The verse tells us to "Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of him who prospers in his way". All Howie and I can do now is rest and be patient. June 30th is our next big day and for those in the IVF world can be the longest wait. You are analyzing every twinge and pain and one of the meds I am still on can mimic pregnancy symptoms. When I was pregnant with Emma and was waiting for the beta test I began having cramps. I knew from other gals who were going through IVF at the time that those cramps weren't necessarily a bad thing but then again it could have been. If only there could have been a different type of cramp so you would know if it meant you were pregnant or everything was coming to an end.

This has been an unbelievable journey and we are believing that we will be bringing home the best souvenir we could ever take with us. We thank you for being with us on this journey while we have been away from home. We can't wait to see all of you next week!!

Love and blessings ~
Lisa

Transfer is Complete

We spent the morning walking the sidewalks, talking with each other and wrapping ourselves up in the calmness that waited for us at this journey's end. We eat some breakfast, at what has become our favorite Starlite Dinner, just a couple blocks away. We came back to the room and spent a couple hours in meditation, prayer and listening to our favorite praise songs on the ipod.

As the time came closer, we collected our things and walked the two blocks to the hospital. They called her back for the procedure and the wait began. They called me back about 30 minutes later, where I found my wife smiling holding a photo of our two embryos, a 7 cell and a 4 cell.

I cannot begin to explain, much less begin to accurately convey the overwhelming feelings that come with this type of procedure. What makes these feelings even more intensified is the love and compassion that so many of you have shown to us. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

There are a few absolutes that define what Lisa and I have experienced over the last six years of proceeding through this baby makin' journey;

1. Emma becomes a bigger miracle with each passing day;
2. The doctors may assist, but God is the only giver of life; and
3. There are not enough days left in my life to sufficiently thank each of you for the love you have shown Lisa and I.

Please keep the prayers flowing and we will see if Lisa can pass one last test, a blood test on June 30th.

Love you all,

Howie

One more day

I would be lying if I didn't say that I am so excited about tomorrow. I am humbled by this blessing that God has given us yet once again. I am scared on the human side of things that our embryo aren't up to par quality wise. But I know that my heavenly Father has us in his arms right now and he is going to carry us through the rest of this journey just as he has since our infertility journey began in 2001.



We have two precious, delicate embryo growing in a petri dish that is made of me and Howie. Our Emma is a true example of how this miracle of life can happen and we know this can happen again for us. I am so overwhelmed tonight with emotion. Kelli just sent a youtube clip of Cardboard Testimonies. When I first think of cardboard testimonies right now I automatically think to the cardboard signs we have seen throughout this big city of the homeless asking for food or money. Mom helped a homeless man out last Sunday. She gave him some money and my first thought was that he would probably spend it on alcohol. How I am allowed to judge what the man would spend the money on. He very well could have gone and bought some food.



Today when we were out we passed a young man sitting with his head down with his cardboad testimony asking for money or food. Just as we walked past him another young man approached Howie selling packages of Oreo cookies for his sports team. Howie bought 2 and I put them in my purse. We walked past the homeless young man again and I reached into my purse and handed him both. Who knows if this would be his only food but how many times have we heard those stories of passing the homeless and looking the other way and could that be Jesus we were passing by. Would we want Him to pass us by during our times of need? How can we survive those moments in life that seem so larger than life that we feel that we could be swallowed up by fear and grief.

I know this post is all over the place tonight but that is exactly how I am feeling tonight. Howie and I both come before you tonight and ask one more time for your prayers for our 2 embryo. We pray that they will be both of great quality tomorrow. They will have divided and be 8 cell or better. Their won't be any fragmentation of them. That the dr's will have a steady hand and there will be a peace in the room during our transfer. From our past transfers Howie has been with them but here he won't be. Pray that I will remain calm and not anxious. Pray that God will hold me in his arms and bless me with peace and assurance.

I have sounded like a broken record when I say thank you for all of your prayers during this. There are so many couples who choose not to share this experience with their friends much less their families. It is such a private experience but Howie and I both know the power of prayer and we have seen throughout this experience how God has heard and answered our prayers.

We love you all and are so thankful to be surrounded by all of you during this time.

Love and blessings~

Lisa

We have our fertilization report

I will make this short and sweet.... We have 2 embryo's that are waiting for us on Thursday! We are so fortunate to have these 2 and we know this is the plan that God wants for us. Yes, we would have loved to have had 1 or 2 more that would have made it but they didn't and we are so thankful for the 2 we have.

Please, please pray that these 2 stay strong until Thursday. Pray that God will indeed answer our prayers with these 2 embryo's for a successful transfer which will lead to another baby for our family.

We love you all and are so fortuate to be surrounded in prayer by all of you!

Love and blessings~
Lisa

Just a quick note

We have had a nice day since the retrieval. We did get out for a little while tonight which was nice. I have felt pretty good this evening. I'm still having some mild cramping which is normal. We are both anxious in a good sense to hear our fertilization report tomorrow. It seems to be pretty common to have a 50% fertilization rate so if we end up with at least 3 healthy embryo that will be such a blessing.

I have to share something that Emma did yesterday that we are still laughing about. We were leaving the hotel to go to church and Howie still had his rental car from last week. Emma had forgotten about the rental car and she walks ahead of us. Before we know it she has raised her hand and has flagged down a taxi. The taxi actually stopped for her and we had to wave it on :) The kid has caught onto the routine of hailing a taxi in New York City!!

We will post our next round of good news tomorrow after we talk with the nurse!! Thank you again for your prayers today!! Our prayer for now is that we have some healthy and growing embryo tonight and they will look wonderful tomorrow.

Love and blessings ~
Lisa

Egg retrieval complete!

Sorry the update has come a little later but everything went just fine today. They retrieved 9 eggs which is wonderful. That is all we know about them though. We will get a call tomorrow from the nurse and she will let us know how many were mature, how many fertlized and then the best news of all, how many embryo's we have.

We had to be at the hospital at 7:30 this morning. There was a nice waiting area for the couples upstairs. The ladies were called back at different times to change clothes into our lovely hospital attire. I did find out I was the last one retrieval of the morning so that meant a longer wait but it went by pretty quickly.

We got back to the hotel around 12:00 and had some lunch. I have been resting and plan on doing so pretty much the rest of the day. I feel good, just sore and cramping some which is completely normally.

Thank you for all of the comments, e-mails and phone calls the past 2 days. They mean so much to us and God is hearing and answering our prayers!

Mom, Dad and Emma made it safely to the airport and got checked in with no problems. Their flight left at 12:55 est and they should be landing around 2:30. It's definitely quite up here now.

I will post the update tomorrow after we talk with the nurse. We have the same number of eggs we have had in the past which is good. We are just belieivng the quality is much better which will lead to much better embryo quality.

Love and blessings ~
Lisa

My retrieval time has been set

Can I just say that I am officially tired :) We had to wake up at 1:45 this morning for Howie to give me the HcG ( trigger shot ). Then at 6:30 we had to be at the clinic for a retrieval instruction meeting. The meeting went fine and there are going to be 9 of us ladies having retrievals in the morning.

After we left the clinic around 8:00 Howie and I walked to one of the many, many little cafes and restaurants and brought back breakfast for everybody. Dad had really wanted to attend The Brooklyn Tabernacle church while they were up here. We weren't able to last week so today we planned on going. The Tabernacle choir only sings at the 12:00 service so that's the one we attended. Jason had suggested we attend the church as well and I'm glad we did. They bought an old theatre in downtown Brooklyn back in the 1980's I think it was or maybe it's not been that long. The church is beautiful and what a choir they have. I have heard of the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir but I don't think I have ever heard them sing.

We had a late lunch and did some walking and now we are back at the hotel resting. It's time to start getting Emma packed up and I'm not looking forward to having her gone. I am really going to miss her this next week. She can't wait to get home and spend time with Mamaw and Papaw and she is so excited about seeing Taylor and Lake as well. She will be more than fine and I know I will be too. It will be a nice week to have some down time with Howie and concentrate on this last week and just take care of ourselves and our little embies!!

As you say a prayer for us tomorrow and our healthy and mature eggs please say a prayer for these 8 other ladies. I have never officially met them but some faces were familiar from this last week. They are all hear and going through the exact same thing as we are. Pray that will have a peace throughout the remainder of the week and that their cycles are successful and their dream of becoming a mommy will come true as well.

Some specific prayer request for tomorrow:
1. Healthy and mature eggs ( if we can have at least 4 that would be wonderful! )
2. An easy recovery from the retrieval.
3. Safe travel for mom, dad and Emma. They are having to go to the airport without us so pray they will get checked in ok.
4. Pray for Howie has he has to wait for me and that he will be blessed with a peace as well.

We will update after the retrieval and will let you know as much as we know. We will find out tomorrow how many mature eggs we have. On Tuesday we will have our first Fertilization report and then our Transfer of the Embies will be on Thursday afternoon.

Love and blessings ~

Lisa

We have a retrieval time set!

We finally heard from our doctor an hour ago. I was told to stop all the injections tonight and then at 1:45 am ( yikes!! ) Howie will give me the trigger injection!! Retrieval is set for Monday morning. Today's ultrasound showed 6 follicles that were of a good size and between 4 - 6 other follicles that are smaller. We are more than happy to have at least 6 right now that should have an egg inside. We just need those 6 to be mature and healthy. The other 6 will grow more between now and Monday as well.

We have had a fun and slow day the 5 of us. Tomorrow I am to be at the clinic at 6:30 for retrieval instructions. I am hoping we can attend the Brooklyn Tabernacle later in the morning as well. Tomorrow will be our last day with Emma and God planned to have my knocked out when I would be saying by to her on Monday morning. I do hate that we won't be able to take mom, dad and Emma to the airport but I know God will be watching over them and take them home safely.

I am so thankful to have made it this far and I am believing and thanking God for a successful retrieval on Monday. We will hear on Tuesday what our fertilization report is and the transfer will be on Thursday afternoon. We are almost there and thanks to all of you who have been praying for us for the patience and the smooth cycle it has been so far.

We love you all!!

Lisa

I became a kid again

Yesterday was another good day. Monitoring went really well and they want me to come back in again this morning. If I could request a specific prayer right now it would be that my egg quality will have improved. One of the extra protocols Cornell put me on this time was to help with that issue. I will be 37 in July and yes as we age our egg quality decreases but mine for some unknown reason has gone down considerably. We are believing for several healthy and mature eggs!!

The weather has been so nice up here since Wednesday. Howie is back with us!! He drove in around 4:00 yesterday. Emma and I were sooo happy to have him back with us.

Our last big adventure was hoping to attend a Broadway Musical. I knew Emma would love to see one with all the music and dancing so it was just deciding which one to choose. Disney has three that are playing right now, The Lion King, Mary Poppins and The Little Mermaid. I really wanted to see Mary Poppins and I knew she would definitely choose The Little Mermaid.

There is a ticket booth that you can stand in line for down at Times Square where tickets are sometimes 50% off. Mom, Dad, Emma and I head down that way around 1:30. They don't open until 3:00 but I knew there would be a line. It's the weekend and the Tony's are on Sunday so it would be a busy night. There was already a pretty decent line of people at 2:00. Thankfully I was in line with a lady who has bought this way before and she gave me some pointers.

We were going to go with The Little Mermaid but it was completely sold out before the ticket office opened. I was more than excited about seeing Mary Poppins and Emma was a little disappointed at first but she became more excited as we told her about Mary Poppins.

The performance was out of this world. The set changes and the costumes and the music were unbelievable. She was on the edge of her seat the whole time just smiling and having a wonderful time. I am so happy we went to see Mary Poppins. I love the The Little Mermaid just as much as the next 4 year old but Mary Poppins is from my childhood and I adored Julie Andrews in the movie. I was probably the only one with tears in their eyes at the end of the musical. Just watching Emma and how excited she was as Mary Poppins flew over her head at the end was priceless.

She did keep asking if she could go ask the children who played Jane and Michael how old they were :) And then she wanted to tell Mary Poppins that she loved her. I just love my precious girl...

Love and blessings ~
Lisa

Moving onto another day

Everything is still moving ahead. I am to go back in the morning and have more blood work and another ultrasound. This is all normal and just part of the process towards the end of the cycle before you reach retrieval. They want to see your follicles at an ideal size so they don't get over cooked in a sense. I would think that they might let me go one more day until Saturday and then I would trigger Saturday night. That means one big injection before retrieval which would happen 36 hours after the injection.

We have had a low key day today which has been nice. I'm sitting here watching the news of all the bad weather that has hit the Midwest. Just thankful that everybody back home is safe and that there hasn't been that kind of weather there. We all have so much to be thankful for.

Hope all of you are doing well. It's hard to believe we have another week up here before we head home. Emma can't wait to see her cousins next week. She tells everybody that her cousin Taylor is 5 and she is only 4. :) Is the cousin jealousy hitting now :)!!

Love and blessings ~

Lisa

Day 3 of Monitoring

Good Morning,

I just returned from the Clinic and everything is still on track. There are 9 follicles we are watching ( not all follicles will contain an egg ). I am more than pleased and blessed with the 9. This is right around the number I have had in the past and Dr. Davis was hopeful to have me make the same quantity and just hope and pray that the quality will improve. We are on target for the same number and we won't know about the quality until retrieval.

It's around this time during my cycle that I start getting the butterflies and reality starts sinking in. Making this decision to cycle here in New York was not something we took lightly. I know my posts can seem lighthearted and they are but down deep there are so many emotions flowing right now and if I keep things light and cheery in my writing then I won't get bogged down on the deeper emotions. I can write for days on how much I want another child. Another child to bring into our home to love and teach and watch grow and experience all those "first". Another child so Emma can be a big sister. Another grandchild for our parents. Another niece or nephew for the aunts and uncles. Another cousin for Taylor and Lake. And most importantly, another Child of God that he will bless us with. The most precious gift of all.

I am already blessed in this life with an unbelievable husband and precious child. God has been so good to me and for that I am grateful. Thank you for sharing this journey with us. It is odd to share these feelings on a computer but I guess that's what these blogs are all about. I don't open up that easily about the my feelings of this. I can talk day and night about the "medical" side but when it comes to what is deep down inside that is what I share in my alone time with my heavenly Father. He has carried me through the darkest times and I know whatever the outcome He will continue to carry me. I can't even imagine going through this process without having Him right here beside me the whole step of the way.

When I hear more tonight I will let you guys know!! Thank you so much for being our cheerleaders and support team and my special team of prayer cheerleaders!!

Love and blessings~
Lisa

I rode a camel today

Yes, you read that correctly I rode a camel with Emma today. Today was the last big day I had planned for things for us to do. I had some friends suggest going to the Bronx Zoo and Emma loves animals so I thought this would be a fun trip to make. So off we go on our big adventure with mom and dad today. The adventure began with our first Subway ride which included a transfer at another station.

We made it just fine and then caught a bus once we got to the Bronx. The zoo was absolutely huge. I had read out loud last night they had camel rides and that was all that Emma needed to hear about. She told everybody today that she was going to ride a camel. Dad and I both were praying that the camels would indeed be open for riding. We made that area our first "project" so we wouldn't let time get away from us and miss it.

We got to see lots of gorillas, a polar bear playing with a ball, a lion, sea lions and several other animals. The weather could not have been any nicer today. It was finally in the 80's and breezy. So we finally made our way to the camel ride and I go to buy Emma's ticket and we are informed she is to small to ride by herself. Can you really see Marvey or Frances up on the camel???? I think not. So I am the lucky second rider upon the camel. Now granted this is not my first camel ride. I believe I was around 6 or 7 when I first rode a camel ( which has been the only time I had ever ridden a camel until today ).

She had a blast and yes, we have the lovely 5 x 7 picture to show for it :)

Tomorrow is my next big day for the doctor. We should have a better timeline of when things might start happening which is very exciting. I am still feeling pretty good but I can tell the meds are starting to catch up with me. No more camel rides for this gal! This trip is definitely our summer vacation and that is why I wanted us to do some extra fun things before mom, dad and Emma head back home. Howie will be driving back on Friday and I am more than ready to have him back here with us.

We are praying for my follicles to have continued to grow and my lining and estrogen levels are all where the doctors want them to be.

More tomorrow after my appointment!!

Love and blessings~
Lisa

Good news from today

The doctors were pleased with how I am responding to the medication. The plan for the next two days is to stay on the same dose and add 1 more injection to the mix so that will make a total of 3 injections for today and tomorrow. I will go back on Thursday for blood work and ultrasound and we will know maybe then when the egg retrieval will be. The nurse said if she had to guess it could either be Sunday or Monday. So far so good!! God is blessing us with a smooth cycle thus far and I am believing he will continue to do the same.

For the fun part of our trip we went to Alice's Tea Cup for a "tea party". This was Emma's first official tea party and her grandparents were more than willing participants :) I will have to say that New York has some of the cutest and neatest activities for kids!! To bad that it is so far from home and sooo expensive to visit.

I am so thankful that we have been able to bring Emma on this trip and she is experiencing these neat activities ( and Mommy gets to be a kid again as well ).

We are just so thankful that everything is moving along so well and we give God the praise!!

Love and blessings ~
Lisa

Quick update from this morning

Good Morning,

I just wanted to let you guys know that everything went fine today at my monitoring visit. I don't have official info yet and that won't happen until this afternoon but my ultrasound already showed several follicles. I am responding to the meds and that is a good thing! There were some already measurable ones so they will probably lower my dose tonight.

We are going to head out in a little while but I just wanted to share the news real quick. IF there was anything to be concerned with is that I have responded to quickly and I would have a dominant follicle that could take over the other ones. I am not going to think negatively and have any concern until I have heard from the doctors. All in all I feel like I am right on target as to where I need to be!

More later when I hear from the clinic :)

Lisa

Enjoying the life in the City

Tomorrow is my first big day at the clinic and I am very excited to see how things are going.
I will try to make an earlier post tomorrow when I hear something. It's been easy to post an update right before bed but tomorrow I will actually have some "news" to post!!

Howie made it to the Buffalo area safely this afternoon. We have missed him around here today. Mom was a little under the weather so she stayed in today while Dad, Emma and I went exploring. We headed over to the Museum of Natural History and it was such a neat place. The place is so big with so many exhibits. It was nice to be inside today with all the hot weather that they are still having. It sounds like tomorrow will be the last day of really hot temps.

We were on the Upper West Side today and we walked across Central Park to the Upper East Side to find a playground for Emma. There are close to 30 playgrounds in the Park. We finally found 1 so she could play and have some fun. Nothing like a slide or swing to keep her happy for awhile!

Thank you for those who have left comments and e-mails! It's so nice to hear from you up here. I have tried e-mailing you back but for some reason they aren't going through. I am going to try and use another e-mail address to send replies back.

I hope all of you are doing well back home. Emma misses her dog Jack and her friends in the neighborhood. Even with all the fun we are having up here we still miss all the comforts and friends and family from home.

Love and blessings~
Lisa

Not much new tonight

Hey everybody. We have had a fun day here in the big city on our first official day. Howie and I went over to the clinic for my blood work and didn't have to wait very long at all which was really nice. It's amazing how many patients they see and how quickly they see everybody and ship them out the door.

When you visit any doctor and you see other patients waiting you sometimes don't know exactly why they are visiting the doctor. Here or at any other infertility clinic you know exactly why everybody is there. It still breaks my heart to see other couples going through this process. We all want the exact same thing, to be parents to healthy children. For so many it happens so easily and for other it takes a long walk and journey for that to happen. Howie and I know so well how blessed we are to have our Emma. We savor and appreciate every day God has blessed us with having her in our lives. As you keep us in your prayers please lift up the other couples out there in this big ole world who are walking this infertility journey. We all know that God has a special plan for our lives and sometimes that plan follows a different course than what we would hope it to be.

We did lots of walking today and Emma was a trooper. I have to say I wasn't expecting this hot weather up here in NYC. I don't think New York City was expecting it either. Some highlights of today was visiting Trinity Church. A beautiful church that was established in the late 1600's. They still hold weekly services in it. Just a few short blocks from the Church is where The World Trade Centers once stood. We walked down to where they once stood and looked out at the massive hole. I still become so emotional when I think of that day but to actually stand where those towers once stood so tall and proud was a somber moment. As tears came to my eyes my heart went out to all of those families whose lives were changes forever that beautiful September morning. Emma didn't quite understand why we were standing and looking out over this empty spot of land. Someday she will hear the story of how life as we once knew changed forever and how hatred for our Heavenly Father and this precious land of ours was attacked. I pray that during her lifetime she never has to experience another attack of that magnitude again.

Ok, so I thought when I started writing tonight I wouldn't have much to say... Guess I did after all :) On a side note Howie is heading towards Buffalo tomorrow morning for work. His company has a Job Corps center in Medina, NY so he is going to be working over there this week. He will be back on Friday sometime. Pray that he will have a safe trip and a good week while there.

I don't have to head back to the clinic until Tuesday morning. I will have some more blood work and my first ultrasound. I am excited to see how the ultrasound goes and to see how I am responding to the meds!

Love and blessings ~
Lisa

We have arrived

Not much to share tonight other than our flight was fine and actually on time. The weather up here is just as hot as it was back home. The place we are staying is actually just fine. Lots of room which will be nice.

We did head down to Time's Square so Emma could see all the lights and stores. She was quite thrilled with everything and loved the M & M Store. Who knew there could be 3 floors of M & M merchandise!

I will have my first monitoring visit tomorrow at Cornell. I am very excited to be up here and to have things finally rolling. So far not many side effects from the meds either which is good. Just taking it one day at a time and letting God work is wonderful blessings upon us.

Love & blessings ~

Lisa

Here we come NYC!

I guess we are now officially on our way to New York City. I just talked to one of the nurses and everything looked good today with my blood work and ultrasound so off we go on Saturday. I will begin my medication tonight and then on Sunday I will go in for another monitoring check-up. The clinic we are using is in New York City at Cornell ( Center for Reproductive Medicine and Infertility ). The medical team at Cornell is like the Dream Team of a Medical Staff for Infertility.

We all leave on Saturday morning ( Howie, Emma, Mom and Dad Wood and me ). We are staying at the Helmsley Medical Towers which is just right across the street from the Clinic which will be so convenient. The area of town we are in is the Upper East Side of Manhattan.

I will use this to update how our trip is going and how I am doing with our cycle. To say that we are excited about this adventure is an understatement. I am truly thankful that God is guiding this journey for us and will be blessing us every step of the way.

We have shared this journey over the past 5 years with so many of you and we thank you for your support and prayers along the way. Please keep them coming as we embark on this new and exciting time for our family!

New beginnings

Who would have thought I would have entered the world of blogging. I wouldn't have even signed up to have a blog address but I wanted to post a message to our new cousin Christina and the only way I could do that was to have a blog address and here we are now.