Not ready to share

Does that not sound like a 3 year old - I am not sharing!! What do you think I am not ready to share? Well if you guess one adorable little blonde 5 year old you are the winner. We all hear the cliches over the years, " how fast they grow up ", " I can't believe she is old enough to start Kindergarten ", " I can't believe she is driving ", you get the picture. In 2 1/2 weeks I will have a Kindergartner ( I think I need a constant spell check on that word ). She is more than excited and I am keepign that same excitement going in her eyes too. She is more than ready and she has several good little buddies that will all be going to the same school and that is wonderful.

Mommy is just not ready to let go of her little buddy. Emma and I have been together pretty much nonstop for 5 1/2 years. Yes, she has gone to Mother's Day Out and she did go to a 5 day - 1/2 day preschool last year to help us both get ready for this transition and I know that experience will be very helpful for this new school year. I am just sad of thinking of not having her with me which I know is a very commmon emotion for most moms. The one added kick in the pants on the emotional level is that she is our only one kiddo. I won't be doing this again with another younger child. Most of mom friends have 1 or more kiddo's left at home but we don't and that makes it a little more tough right now. So it's time to pull out those big girl panties and accept it and rejoice that she is healthy and bright and one of God's precious blessings and enjoy this new ride.

We have had a good summer - a different summer with Howie having been gone but we made the best of it. Emma was on the swim team this year and I am so proud of how well she did this year. She just started learning the proper strokes in April and she was winning ribbons all season long. She will tell you that she won 13 ribbons this summer and she is very proud of that.

On another note... We have had some issues come about with Emma's eyes. We are currently looking to have some more tests run just to see what is going on. She does have 20/20 vision which is a blessing considering how awful my eyesight was at her age. Through this experience over the last 2 weeks it has opened my eyes once again to the Protection and Mercy of my precious Lord. I prayed specifically that if there was something there going on with her eyes that it wouldn't be as bad as we were first told and my Heavenly Father listened and granted my miracle. It has allowed me to once again to view our journey of infertility has an unaswered prayer. God has probably been protecting us all of this time and for the most part I was to stubborn to see that. Now with time separating me for the most part from fresh disappointment I can see that now more than ever.

I am so thankful for the family God has blessed me with. This is the family He wanted me to have, Howie, Emma and me. The 3 of us make a perfect number and I am humbled that God allowed Howie and I to be the parents of this precious, healthy, beautiful, very active, happy child~